2.) Consistency
3.) Say what to do instead of what not to do
4.) “Sandwiching”: Effective feedback for sensitive children
For most parents, the happiest time in their life is the day their precious little child came into the world and blessed them with profound joy. The first smile, the first tooth, the first step, the first word…ahhh! Then as they grow older they start to learn words like “no” and “mine” and begin throwing temper-tantrums when they don’t get their way. From one perspective, these first acts of rebellion begin a lifetime of control battles and difficulty in relationships. From another perspective, the child may simply be trying to gain a sense of autonomy and self-control, which are both healthy and necessary to become a well-adjusted adult. If a parent enters into the control battle simply for the sake of control, the child’s sense of self-esteem and self-worth can be significantly compromised. In addition, if the parent loses the battle, they may end up reinforcing the undesirable behavior by having given too much attention to it and then giving up, which may leave the child feeling an inflated sense of false power. Conversely, the parent may exert too much power leaving the child feeling powerless and humiliated, which over time could damage their self-esteem.
So how can you ensure that you are doing everything that you can to support your child’s self-esteem and self-confidence without losing your Zen? Here are a few suggestions:
